What I Have Learned About Love and Relationships

I have been dating my fiance since I was 16 years old. We were together for two years when he asked me to marry him on a warm June day. Now, we have been engaged for another wonderful year and plan to get married next summer. God has blessed me with an amazing fiance and a great relationship! We have been through highs and lows and everything in between, and God never stops amazing me by what He has done in our relationship.

These past three years has taught me a lot. God has taught us both a lot through circumstances and each other. I’ve learned so much about love and relationships, and I wanted to share with you, my awesome readers. Some of these are the most important things that I have ever learned.

If you are single, dating, or married, take these to heart. If you have anything to add or ask, I’d love to hear it in the comments! So let’s get started with our discussion:

You can’t change the other person.

This is one of those things that I thought I knew from the beginning, but I sadly knew very little about this. You can’t change anyone besides yourself. There were so any times when I thought to myself “Why hasn’t he learned by now?” when really he wasn’t learning because it wasn’t my job to teach him! My fiance has done the same thing with me as well. We have learned that the things that annoy us or bother us never truly go away by human effort. They can only be changed when given to God.

Not to say that God is going to change what you want Him to change. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to let go of trying to change or “teach” the other person and let God do His thing in Hi s own time. God is going to have His way through the other person, and that doesn’t always match what you want. But what God does in your relationship is far better than anything you can do yourself.

You can inspire and influence.

Even though your own effort can not change anything, you can inspire and influence the other person more than you can ever imagine. The times my fiance has inspired me the most is when he is walking with the Lord and not trying to do anything with me but what the Lord tells him to do. The same goes for me. When I stop trying to control and get what I want and just pray to God and ask what He wants is when I help my fiance the most. All in all, you the impact you make on your partner’s life is more than you can imagine- if you have your eyes on God.

You can’t depend on them for emotional health.

A mistake I make time and time again is bringing my problems to my fiance. Whenever I can’t do it on my own, I go to him. And sometimes it is good. However, more often it works out to be bad. Why? Because my fiance doesn’t know everything! Too often he brings my problems as his own then tires himself out with a weight he should have never carried. It just would have been simpler is I took my problems to God instead, then my problems would have been settled right the first time and our relationship would have never suffered.

I have also learned that when my fiance goes through times of trouble, I can’t take it too hard. Sometimes, there is nothing I can really do, and I can’t beat myself up over that. I am not suppose to be my fiance’s rock, God is. There are days I need to stop blaming myself or my actions and just pray, because that is the best thing you can do.

You can help them get to an place where they can be helped.

When my fiance is going through something hard, it is my job to direct him to Christ. When the anger and stress is buzzing in his head, I can be the only voice that breaks through and reminds him of God. I know the best thing my fiance can do when I am stressed and crazy is stop me and lead me in prayer. What God does in those moments is far more than anything my fiance could ever do. It is our responsibility as partners to help the one another in our walks with Christ.

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

10 If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

What has God taught you?

What has God shown you in your walk with one another? Please leave it below in the comments so we can chat!

God bless!

~lillian ❤

You might also like:

1. Tips for Keeping God in the Center of Your Relationship

2. Don’t Play With Fire- Teen Dating

3. 4 Reasons That I Am (Apparently) Crazy

4. How to Make Others Feel Loved

An Important Reminder to All Servants of God

Something that has been on my heart during my internship is the difference between serving people and serving God. I feel like it is all too common for people who are working in ministry to get wrapped up in the “steps” of the job and forgetting their real calling.

While working in ministry, it can be really easy to start making the right moves to serve people, to get the right reaction from people, and to get wrapped up in what people want from you. This is often out of good intentions, but it is not what a minister is called to do.

A minister of God is support to serve God. (And every Christian is a minister of God- 2 Cor 5:20). To listen to God what to do. To be guided by the Spirit on the right steps. We can not forget this. We can not do what people want us to do. We need to do what God wants us to do.

What are your thoughts on this topic? What helps you remember to serve God and not people? Comment below and we can discuss!

~Lillian ❤

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4. How to Make Others Feel Loved

Anger and Rage in our Youth

Last week, I was blessed to serve at one of Michigan’s Youth Camps. Each night we had a powerful service and teens lives were being changed. The presence of God was so heavy in the room every single service. It was beautiful and such an amazing experience.

One night the speaker felt moved by God to have a special alter call that was completely unplanned. The speaker said to a room of 400 teens that he felt God wanting an alter call for those struggling with hatred and rage. The speaker said he felt at least twelve people would respond.

At first I didn’t think much of this. But I remember when the speaker said twelve people, I thought “Wow, that’s a decent amount for this kind of alter call.”

60+ students lined up at the alter with tears in their eyes.

I didn’t know why this surprised me, but I pondered it in my heart for the rest of the day. We often focus on the pain teens suffer from in today’s society. We want to tell them about the healing power of Christ, that they don’t have to continue living the way they do. But we forget to tell these teens to forgive those who have hurt them. We forget that even though they are victims, they also have unresolved feelings that need to be addressed.

I also think teens don’t always bring up this struggle because they don’t want to lose our sympathy. They don’t want to lose the few people that understand them. So they hold their anger in and don’t want to be free from it.

Please keep this thought in prayer and ask God if there are people and youth in your life that need to face these issues. Pray for the teens of this generation so they will not be kept in the bondage of unforgiveness.

What do you think about this event? Please share any thoughts you have below so we can chat!

Until next time, God bless!

~Lillian ❤

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Bible Verses To Bring You Joy

Philippians 4:4 tells us to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” But it can be hard to rejoice when life get’s hard. Thankfully God gave us His Word to help us through every day, good or bad. So here are some Bible verses that help lift me up when I am down, and I pray they do the same for you:

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

~James 1:12

If you are going through a hard time in life, remember that you will be blessed. Why? Because God has promised you blessing, and a crown of life, for your suffering! Have joy knowing that this suffering is not all for nothing, and will be worth it.

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

~Romans 12:12

Have joy in this time, because you have hope because of Jesus! Be patient in this hard time and keep praying as often as possible, and you will be filled with the Joy of the Lord. Accept that God is up to something great and accept this Joy and your problem won’t seem so big anymore. This is not to say you will feel happy 24/7, but it is having faith that God will come through.

“So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

-John 16:22

When we have Christ, we have a source of joy and peace that no one can take away. No matter what, we can never be separated from God’s love (Romans 8:39). Jesus said this to his disciples just before he died. When he was crucified, the disciples didn’t know what to do with themselves. But when he was raised, they had a joy that continued through the hardships (Acts 5:41). This Joy of the Lord is available to us too through the Resurrection. Remember the Cross, and the future God has for you!

I pray these verses give you joy and hope and bring you to God in the good times and bad.

What Bible verse brings you joy? Leave it in the comments below!

God bless and have a great summer!

~ Lillian ❤

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How to Make Others Feel Loved

One of the biggest things I am learning as I intern with Youth Alive is how to make others feel loved. The men and women I work with really show great love for everyone, and from watching them, I have learned the secrets to making people feel loved. Its easy and simple, and you can do this anywhere and everywhere you go, no matter who you meet. From random strangers to best friends, here is how you can make others feel loved.

1. Listen

It’s very simple, and you have probably heard it before. The first thing you have to do to make someone feel loved is to listen to what they are saying. Notice what they are passionate about, learn lessons from them, hear how they are feeling.

2. Ask Questions

This is the important part of making people feel loved. To show others that you care about them, ask them questions. Nothing is too small to ask about. Ask them what they are passionate about. Ask for explaining on a topic they mention. Question how they do things and what they think about topics. Ask about their plans or ideas.

Bonus: The 1/4 Rule

A simple rule I use to help me in conversations is the 1/4 Rule. For every 1 sentence or comment about yourself or your life, there should be at least 3 sentences about them or what they are talking about.

What makes you feel loved when talking to other people?

Comment below so we can chat and share ideas!

Internship Update: Camps!

I am very happy to be serving at camps for the rest of my internship! For the next few weeks I will be traveling between different youth camps and family camps across the state of Michigan.

The past few days I have been learning different things to help me serve the camps. Some weeks I will be working independently from the team, so I’m getting familiar with everything I can.

I’ve been working a lot with technology, especially lighting. During the service I am in charge of the lighting. Its a lot to understand, especially with set up, but I think I am getting the hang of it.

I’ve also been networking. My boss tells me networking is really big in ministry, especially in Youth Alive. This is something I want to focus on at during this beginning stage of my career.

So far I have been very happy with what I am doing, It’ so cool to see kids passionate for God at such a young age. Today we have been teaching kids how to lead others to Jesus and how they can share Christ in their high schools. Below is a picture of the kids sharing their ideas. 

Here is a picture of one of our services:

Please continue to pray for me and I will be keeping you updated on my journey!

The Beauty of Asking (Matthew 7:7)

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

~Matthew 7:7 NIV

As I have been getting back into my daily routine after traveling to Michigan, I have been blessed with ample amount of time to spend in the presence of God. I just finished reading through the gospel of Matthew, and God led me to the verse above that many know but few remember.

You see, I have found myself asking questions like “How can the Spirit be more alive in my life and ministry?” and “How can I learn to love people more?” and other kinds of questions we all often have. We want a mentor or spiritual person to tell us their story, their opinion, and give us a step by step guide to our goal.

While all of that is important and often needed, sometimes we forget that God made a way for us to go to Him when His Son died for us. God tells us we can boldly approach his throne (Hebrews 4:16). Why don’t we? Why don’t we bring our questions straight to God? Why don’t we let God teach us through prayer and His word?

What has God been teaching you lately? 

If you have any questions, thoughts, or something to add, please comment below so we can chat 🙂 

Related Posts: 

1.  Tips For a More Exciting Personal Time with Jesus
2. Being Busy but Wanting to Go Deeper with God- How I Do It.
3. A Secret Place
4. Learning to Listen

Tips For a More Exciting Personal Time with Jesus

I once heard it said that our personal time with God should be the most exciting thing in our lives. That can be hard to believe! How  can being cook-ed up in a room with an invisible God be anything close to thrilling?

I’ve been exploring this idea and wanting to add something special to my time with God. When you really think about it, our personal time with God is often taken for granted. We are talking to the Creator of all things, who incredibly loves us more than we could ever deserve, and He has the power to shape us into people we never thought we could be, and He can lead us to do more than we could ever imagine. Why is that not so exciting?

I won’t say my personal time is the most breathtaking part of my day. But these tips have helped me have a more exciting time with Jesus.

1. Invest more in worship.

Sometimes, we can think just reading our Bibles and saying a quick prayer is enough for a devotional. But when the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, the first thing He did was worship God! And what is usually the first thing we do in church? Worship! Add worship to your daily time with God. Play some music. Move around if that’s your nature. Shout praises to God! Thank Him for everything He is and everything He has done. Don’t just ask Him to teach you, praise him!

2. Invest more in listening.

We often get so caught up in prayer and asking for answers when we forget to stop talking and listen! It can be hard, and it feels quite strange to sit in silence waiting. But God rewards us when we wait on Him, and he answers us every time! We need to be like Elijah, and listen for that still small voice. Waiting on the Lord allows Him to speak and move, giving us answers, peace, comfort, and love. We need to be still in listen. 

3. Invest more in application.

One of Jesus’ most frequent teachings is not only listening but doing what God’s Word says. Jesus said in Luke 11:28:

“Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Take some time after each devotional and write down what God is teaching you. Put it somewhere you can see it, and review it at the end of each day for a week to keep yourself accountable of doing the Word of God. And one day, you will see your old notes and praise God for helping you grow!

Doing these three things have helped me experience God more. I pray that these have helped you!

What are your tips for a more exciting time with Jesus? What do you do in your personal time?

Related Posts:

1. Learning to Listen
2. A Secret Place
3. Being Busy but Wanting to Go Deeper with God- How I Do It
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The Benefits of Having a Prayer Journal

I think having a prayer journal is one of the most helpful tools to getting closer to God, especially when you are as busy and as scatter brained as I am. In you want to focus more on prayer, consider starting a prayer journal!

Peaceful Single Girl

Some of you may like to journal a lot – like I do. Others may not be into long journal entries, and may prefer to jot things down very briefly. Some people are more visual than verbal and like to keep pictures of people they are praying for in a little envelop or in a pocket in their journal. Some people prefer to have a prayer calendar and write requests and note answers to prayer on the calendar. Whatever style is fine! But there is just something amazing about writing out our praises to God, our thanksgiving, our confession, and our prayer requests.

• It helps me to stay focused instead of allowing my mind to wander.
• Sometimes I write down verses that really speak to me to help cement them in my memory. They stay with me much longer that way than if I just read them one time.
• It…

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4 Reasons That I Am (Apparently) Crazy

To be honest, everyone always defined me as…interesting. That’s how they always put it, anyways. When I was a kid, I was crazy for my wild personality, loud voice, and imagination. However, now that I am an adult (kinda), I’m hearing “Oh my goodness, you are crazy!” about more important things in my life. But they always have a theme to them. So here are four reasons I am (apparently) crazy.

1. I’m going into ministry.

God has called me to be a pastor. So with barely a backup plan or any kind of plan, I am going to Bible college to be a full-time pastor. A lot of people thinks this idea is nuts. How could I ever expect to make money as a pastor?! And I am really going to school 4 years for it?! Yes, yes I am. Why? Because God has called me. Not only that, but God has designed me for this. No, I don’t plan on making much money. But that is okay, because I am serving God.

2. I’m going into ministry… as a woman.

Yep, I’m going there. Kinda. Let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, I am a woman, who believes I am called to the ministry. And I am not saying I’m going to be “The Pastor’s Wife”. While that is completely 100% awesome and admirable (I am in no way under-valuing the role), it’s just not for me. God has called me to full-time ministry, as a pastor. Sure there may be seasons where I am not working, but God has told me He has called me to be a pastor.

3. I’m going into youth ministry.

Not only does going into youth ministry make some people blink twice, but it’s also quite interesting to see people raise an eyebrow to a woman being a youth pastor. To be honest, I was a little uneasy about the idea at first. Before Bible college, I hadn’t met a woman youth pastor. Plus I couldn’t really see myself as the a youth pastor. But with a year of prayer, I know God has called me to be just that, and I have no doubts about it.

4. I’m getting married!

Okay, I wasn’t going to post this at first, but yes I’m getting married. I figured seeing my blog was about the transition from teen to adult I should probably mention this monumental change. God started calling me and my fiance, Garrick, to get married, unlike after we finished school like we planned. But God not only provided for all my financial worries, but also my emotional and spiritual worries as well. It’s kinda funny to say that I was scared to get married. I was believing that I wasn’t good enough yet. I was convinced that I had to have all my spiritual and emotional baggage all checked. But the thing is, I am never going to be good enough. That’s why marriage is not just husband and wife. It is husband, wife and God.

However, it is still crazy I’m getting married. Yes, I will only be twenty. Yes, I will be finishing school and living on campus while being married. I have been praised and condoned for it. But Garrick and I prayed and fasted about it and we know God wants us to get married.

So overall, I’m always called crazy when I follow what God has called me to do. Following the call of God is crazy and it doesn’t always make sense. However, it is the best thing you can do with your life and God will have your back every step of the way.